I have this picture on my desk top and it feels so real because first off I love this picture of Jason and it's a close up of him, plus having him as my desktop background makes his face even bigger and it feels like he's right there with me :) (I miss you so much babe)Do you know the feeling of that??? Being away from your spouse for 9 whole months? Man it's like I have been living this new life without him. It doesn't quite feel like he died because I get to talk to him. But inside I've been mourning his absense ever since he left for the war. Sounds so 1940's when I say it like that, huh.
I moved out of the home we had together and into a few new homes with just me and the kids, I've experienced nursing school and doing the whole early morning daycare thing, working all day, picking them up myself routine. We took a cross country road trip without him, stayed with his parents without him, and now we're in a new home by ourselves with Jason. I unpacked this entire house and cleaned up everything on my own and made this a home... mine and the babies home.
And now it's time to see him--- after all this time has gone by. Our kids are seriously different people. When they saw Jason last they were talking a little, but not able to have understandable conversations. They had just turned 2. Now they are almost 3 and have grown so much developmentally and socially. First off their appearance is dramatically different. They are taller and more grown up looking. You can have full on conversations with them and they will talk your ear off-- and you will actually understand them. They can tell you exactly what they want and why and how. Clearly. These kids are amazing.
So my excitement is unbearable to see Jason. I can't say exactly when he's coming, but I can say it's sooner than later! And my heart beats fast every time I think about picking him up at the airport with him in his uniform coming down that escalator... just being able to hold his face and kiss his lips again. It will be like I am seeing him for the first time in forever. I know I will be nervous, anxious, excited, scared.. what will he think of me? Seeing I haven't lost the weight I wanted. It's my own insecurities like any woman. I just want my husband to see me as the beautiful woman he married. And I know he will.
I need to pick out my outfit he will see me in for the first time! I need to clean the house more, get things perfect, get my nails done, get my hair trimmed, get this and that waxed! Eek! I need to lose about 50 el bee's in an unrealistic amount of time lol.
The kids... oh man the kids will be ecstatic. We are not going to tell them the day he is coming... they know Daddy is coming soon, but we want it to be a total surprise. We're planning to take them to Disneyland for their first time! They saw pictures of it and they got so hyper and happy just thinking about it. Heck man, I got so hyper and happy just thinking about it. It's Disneyland, son!
This is going to be the happiest day all year :)
I moved out of the home we had together and into a few new homes with just me and the kids, I've experienced nursing school and doing the whole early morning daycare thing, working all day, picking them up myself routine. We took a cross country road trip without him, stayed with his parents without him, and now we're in a new home by ourselves with Jason. I unpacked this entire house and cleaned up everything on my own and made this a home... mine and the babies home.
And now it's time to see him--- after all this time has gone by. Our kids are seriously different people. When they saw Jason last they were talking a little, but not able to have understandable conversations. They had just turned 2. Now they are almost 3 and have grown so much developmentally and socially. First off their appearance is dramatically different. They are taller and more grown up looking. You can have full on conversations with them and they will talk your ear off-- and you will actually understand them. They can tell you exactly what they want and why and how. Clearly. These kids are amazing.
So my excitement is unbearable to see Jason. I can't say exactly when he's coming, but I can say it's sooner than later! And my heart beats fast every time I think about picking him up at the airport with him in his uniform coming down that escalator... just being able to hold his face and kiss his lips again. It will be like I am seeing him for the first time in forever. I know I will be nervous, anxious, excited, scared.. what will he think of me? Seeing I haven't lost the weight I wanted. It's my own insecurities like any woman. I just want my husband to see me as the beautiful woman he married. And I know he will.
I need to pick out my outfit he will see me in for the first time! I need to clean the house more, get things perfect, get my nails done, get my hair trimmed, get this and that waxed! Eek! I need to lose about 50 el bee's in an unrealistic amount of time lol.
The kids... oh man the kids will be ecstatic. We are not going to tell them the day he is coming... they know Daddy is coming soon, but we want it to be a total surprise. We're planning to take them to Disneyland for their first time! They saw pictures of it and they got so hyper and happy just thinking about it. Heck man, I got so hyper and happy just thinking about it. It's Disneyland, son!
This is going to be the happiest day all year :)
1 comment:
I can't wait to see you, babe! It truly will be the best day of the year! Those pictures of the kids are awesome. They look cool and in good spirits.
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