I like having fresh starts

Who says you have to wait till New Years to have resolutions and goals? I wanted to take a cross country road trip with my kids. I wanted to find more of myself than I already know because I feel that pieces of me are being uncovered as I age. I will never truly know myself and God until the day that we meet. Until then, I'm striving to find myself more and know God a little more each day.

I strive to know my children a little more each day. I feel like my life is too wrapped up in a display that needs to be updated so my friends and family can keep up. I am just at this realization that none of that matters in the end. It's not important to post pictures of my every outing and let everyone know how much I love my kids or my husband so much and post pictures about it and talk about it instead of actually going out and doing it! Let's just all get off the internet and stop sharing about how great our lives are with everyone else and start living them.

Before I get carried away, I'll just step back and take a breather. I guess it's safe to say I'm ending my Facebook and therefore letting go of my social connection to the world. Anyone who is close to me would already have my contact info to keep talking.

I'm moving into a new place with my kids. We are happy. We are healthy. We are enjoying the days together and still missing our deployed soldier, Jas. The day is soon coming to when we will be together again! My heart is skipping and I have butterflies just thinking about seeing him again.

I feel like I am not ready for him to come back as much as I want him to come back. I haven't lost the weight I wanted, mainly. I wanted him to see me different and better looking. I haven't gotten our home the way I want it. I haven't saved the money I wanted to save. If I'm waiting for all that to happen, though, he'll never come home! Only God knows how much we have missed each other. I can't even describe what it is like for a woman with children to be without her husband and father of their children for this long of a period. It is INSANE I tell you. INSANELY difficult and I would wish this upon no one. To be separated from your partner in life is lonely. Just lonely. Night after night I wish it was him I was talking to instead of my e-mail to him.

Another long day of unpacking ahead. Such is the life of a military wife!