The Home Stretch...

So our last days together are approaching till D-day. We've decided that the babies are I are going to go to California and stay with my fam for a little while. Through spring maybe. Maybe into summer. Who knows.

I'm scared because when Jason leaves, I don't know how I'm going to handle it. At first I'll be sad. That's obvious. But will I go into some kind of funk where I'm just depressed and wanting to eat cheetos and Ben and Jerry's all day? (oh wait I already do that). We've been apart for 6 months before and I did okay, but I think it's because I knew he was just a phone call away, or a Skype away, and I could have even gone to see him if I wanted. But now, we'll be lucky if he can call me once a week.. even longer depending on where they are.

I know I'll be worried, I'll be frustrated I can't talk to him whenever I need to. I'll be lonely, I'll be stressed with the kids. I'm just hoping that by making the choice to be around my family for the beginning of it, that will help to ease some of the pressure.

I do have a set of goals that I plan on accomplishing when I am in the states.

1. Staying busy with my photography. I want to pursue classes, more photo sessions, possibly get a mentor.

2. Getting my CNA license.

3. Working out and losing weight so that I can be a smokin mama by the time Jason comes home for R&R.

4. Potty train Jonah and Leila

Speaking of Jonah and Leila. I am worried most about them. I want them to have their daddy in their lives every day, even if it's not a direct form of him. Here is what I'm planning to do to help them remember Daddy:

1. Get them each a "Daddy doll" with Jason's picture on it so they can take him around with them to hug and squeeze anytime they want. I also want to tell them to take their Daddy dolls everywhere they go so it just becomes a routine.."Go get Daddy so he can come to the store with us." "Put a blanket over daddy so he can go ni-night."

2. Print and laminate a lifesize picture of Jason's head and put it on the wall next to their kiddy table so when they eat meals, they can be eating with daddy, too.

3. Video tape Jason reading and singing to the babies and play the videos back every night to the babies.

I just hope and pray that God is with all of us through this deployment. I am already counting down the days until he's back for good.

I'm also considering starting a video-deployment-wife blog and recording each week how I'm feeling, what I'm going through, the support I'm getting, basically just an honest and truthful insight to what a deployment is like for a wife with 2 kids. Half of it will be with my family's support and the other half will be on my own back in Germany.

Maybe I should start that.

Here are the babies loving their daddy: