Now that I am out of the Army, I have two babies, and it looks like we'll be a military family for a while, I keep thinking to myself "What am I going to do now?" Ultimately I would love to get my degree in secondary education and become a teacher. It's been my dream for as long as I can remember. It's just, I know that finishing my degree is going to take double the time because I have children and I won't be able to go full time.
So in the mean time, I want to figure out a way to bring in income as well. We need to save up first of all, and second of all, I need something more than being a stay at home mom. It's for some people, but it's not for me. Believe me, I love being a mom, and a wife. I love cooking dinner, organizing, cleaning up, decorating the home, laundry.. I honestly enjoy doing these things, however, not all day every day. I need to find something for myself, to change it up a bit. Even if it's a part-time job.
There are so many different things running through my mind. I'm one of those people who wants to do so many things, but it's not realistic to do all of it. I've always been that way. I tend to take on too much. In high school, I was the girl who was involved in everything from JROTC, choir, polynesian club, to dance team, snowboarding club, cross country, and lacrosse. I love to be involved. I think that's why I feel so ... needy to keep busy again. I love taking care of Jonah and Leila. I just need to do other things too. I'm a busy body.
Hopefully things with Jason will hurry up. I know God is trying to teach me patience. And Velva reminded me of that. I can't help but be selfish and want my husband NOW. I want our family life to start already. It's tough not being together. God, please teach me patience.. but also, I hope that your plans for us to be a family again happens soon!
3 comments:
I completely understand how you feel... I was a single mom working 50 hours a week and sometimes more and now I am strictly a stay at home mom. I knew from the beginning that I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom, but it's also not smart at the moment for me to try to find a job with 2 kids in daycare,no degree under my belt, plus being overseas... I am finally starting school again in June and I cannot be more excited. All of my classes are online so I dont need to find a babysitter to go to school. Of course this is just the route that I took, everybody is different... You may be able to find a good daycare system and find a good job that can cover the costs of daycare... I know that no matter what you do, you will do it with greatness... you have always succeeded in everything you have done, I have faith in you... You are a wonderful mother and those two beautiful babies are lucky to have you!
I know exactly what you mean. I grew up with a working mom and I know in my heart that I will be a working mom for my children. I mean, I want to stay home when they are young but once they are at an age where they can go to preschool then I want my career back. But again, like you said, being a mom and going to school will be difficult. It's hard now working full-time and school part-time...and I'm not even into my design school! So, I totally hear you. I'm in the same boat! We can take this challenge on together! :)
I just found your blog! Your babies are so adorable! Isn't it crazy how many of us have babies! I love it!
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