When material things are stripped away

When I think about what married people commonly argue about or reasons to consider divorce, I think of money first. Money, careers, selfish desires, changing their views on life, changing what they want out of life, growing apart, becoming different people..

All of these things, if not most, are just earthly things. I'm going to sit here and admit that I've struggled a lot with selfish desires and complaints that my husband is not this and he's not that. I am struggling with what I want out of life and why I think I may not get there because of certain reasons. All of this is selfish, in my opinion. Selfish, not in the sense that it's not important for me to find my happiness, but selfish in the sense that this is God's world. I am not my own. I am God's child. My sole purpose in life is to believe in Jesus Christ and do as He wants me to do, not do the things that I think I want or are good for me.

 I feel like I need a serious slap in my face to get me back into realizing that all of these earthly things I am worried about don't even matter. Hell, none of this matters. What good is it going to get me with my head so wrapped up in when I should go to school verses being a stay at home mom, what degree I should get, how I don't know if I want to be a pastor's wife, how much I don't want to live in Kansas. All of these are just temporary.

Okay if I step back, I mean take a huge leap outside of this box-o-problems/issues, I strip everything away. No more earthly concerns, no more earthly desires, what is left? My belief in Christ, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with my children. Not the car that we pay an arm and a leg for, not the fact that I can't live by the beach anymore, not the fact that I waited 30 years until I decided to get my degree. I should want nothing more than to enjoy this life that God has blessed me with and try to put my focus on growing my relationship with Christ, helping others to know Christ, being the wife and mother that He wants me to be, and maintaining a balance in the natural aspects of my life such as good health and making sure my family is taken care of and safe.

I keep thinking that I don't want to look back on my life and wish that I spent more time with my kids growing up instead of so much time on the computer, cell phone, television, celebrity magazines, because none of those things will matter in the end. What will God say of my time spent on this earth?

What brought this up for me to write about was when I was in church tonight. I was in a new church and I was looking around at all these elderly people. One couple, in particular, I was focused on. The wife had to nudge her husband to wake up, which I thought was a little funny. They looked like the typical elderly people; old style of clothes probably from way back when, let themselves go a little, coke-bottle glasses, but they looked happy. They were still together and happy. And that made me think of Jason. It made me think that despite the issues we've currently been having, what do I think about him with all of that stripped away? All of our money and career issues and things of this world, what am I left with? I am left with a man that has been so damn faithful and constant to me in our marriage. I am left with this true and honest soul; someone who will do anything to fulfill his calling to God, someone who loves his family unconditionally. He doesn't cheat or abuse, nor has he been harsh with his words or ever hurt us. I'm left with the pure man that he is. And that makes me realize that these surface problems are just earthly. Because everything else that he is so much more important that things of this world that I am worried about.

My message to myself and I guess whoever else would like to take this to heart is that all things important in existence are not of this world. All things that truly matter- that we really need to keep in mind, are not of this world. That doesn't mean to disregard everything God has blessed us with, but just to remember that He is something so much greater than anything that this world can offer. Jesus is the true way. He is the only way.